If you think of it, spanking could be one if not the most used form of kink in the sex world so it may seem simple and easy to do but it always better to know the dos and donts of spanking.
The butt is one of the most overlooked aphrodisiac body parts that can be accessed with ease. With that being said, spanking is one of the best ways to start if you are trying to figure out your kink.
There are different parts of the body that can be spanked and each part comes with different techniques and intensities.
Spanking has been considered as a weird addition to sex at first but it got slowly accepted and now, most people are doing it more often to spice up things in the bedroom.
According to surveys, over 60% of people have experienced spanking during sex. Looking at spanking, that the spanker seems to be the one that is satisfied.
The thing is that the spankee is also satisfied as spanking releases endorphins which causes a satisfying feeling for the one who is being spanked.
It is a kinky activity that requires little to no use of other objects or sex toys. That does not mean that you cannot use one but the spanking alone can satisfy both people.
How to Introduce Spanking to a Partner?
The first and best step in spanking is making both parties know what’s about to happen. It is very important to let your partner know that you like spanking or being spanked.
Of course, surprising someone in the middle of sex could either be very fun or upsetting and you should not risk the latter.
If you also want to go into a more hardcore BDSM, then you should first take it slow, spanking is the great start before bringing out whips and other toys.
Discuss it with your partner before getting into it. In fact, you can get to the spanking during foreplay and if neither of you liked it then you can simply continue with sex without including spanking.
The important thing is that you and your partner should both know what you like and what you do not. Communication is key and the saying applies to this activity as well.
If you think that having a conversation about spanking before sex is awkward, then let me break it to you that there is no other way around it.
You need to have a conversation before you do it else wait for you to get comfortable with the person you are involved with so that you can ask her boundaries during sex.
As for every kind of sexual activity, consent is mandatory and no one should do anything sexually without both parties agreeing on it.
If you are the one who likes spanking, then you should try saying, “I am into spanking and I was wondering if that is okay with you?” or anything along that line.
On the other hand, if you like being spanked, then you can ask your partner, “I have been thinking and I want you to spank me if you are comfortable with that. Is that okay?”
Be always clear about what you want. It is great foreplay to just talk about what each other wants so do not think about foreplay as an all-physical activity.
By discussing before performing, you can agree to have “a safe word” that you can both say if you feel like what the other is doing is a little uncomfortable.
The Guide to Spanking
Since we have already discussed the very first and very important rule of spanking, it is time to get deeper into action and see what else you should do to perfect the art of erotic spanking.
Here are some points to consider before and when spanking:
1. Do Not Go Overboard
After you have talked about how you would like to perform the spanking, you should have set the rules on what to do and what not to do.
Make sure that you keep those in mind and do not go over the line. You are trying to make the activity fun and not just on your own terms.
Spanking is a painful activity if not done right so you should make yourself and your partner comfortable. Telling your partner that you want to try but you do not want pain is an example.
Of course, most people who love BDSM give themselves pleasure with pain but they also set rules and limits. Punishment and pleasure can be combined but with boundaries.
This is a mnemonic developed by sex and relationships coach Effy Blue which stands for Boundaries, Intentions, and Desires. This applies to most people who are new to BDSM.
Boundaries are the things that you would not put yourself into. Meaning that you want to experience the activity but there are certain lines that no one should cross.
Intentions are what the partners want to do or experience in order to spice up the relationship.
The main purpose of this is to discover what you like in the activity and what you want to remove from it. Basically wanting to add something new.
Desire is the part where you get to before experiencing anything. These are the things that you want or want to do during the activity.
3. The Setting Is Important
spanking can either be satisfying or just plain painful and not in the fun way that you wanted it to be. The latter can be probable especially if you did not set the mood right.
You should always make sure that your partner is properly aroused before getting into the part that involves other forms of pain and pleasure.
Maybe start with kissing and cuddling instead of going straight into the spanking part. You can spank your partner during the foreplay but you should make the intensity gradual.
You can put on some music to get you going. You can also keep the music on so you can spank your partner with the rhythm of the music.
You would want the true spanking during the best part of the sex so keep it lowkey during the start. Use spanking only to arouse before the penetration.
Roleplay is also one of the things that you can do to make you and your partner aroused. The best roleplay that can be used in spanking is a dominant-to-submissive roleplay.
That includes teacher to student, master to slave, or police to a pedestrian. This is only a variation and it may not be something that arouses you.
If you are both into dirty talking then you can try that. This is basically a step-by-step guide so you should talk about everything from the start and enjoy the experience all throughout.
4. Find the Right Position
The most common position done when you want spanking mixed with your sex is the over-the-knee position where the one being spanked is on the lap of the spanker.
It is a very intimate position that makes spanking easy for both parties. There are a lot of other positions that you can do with your partner to enjoy spanking.
This is one way to get you going as well. When you are in the right position, you get to experience the best of the spanking.
5. Warm-Up and Anticipation
At the beginning of spanking, it is good to start with a soft smack and not directly to a forceful one.
The stinging sensation of the slap will be good enough to get you started. If your partner wants it to go harder then they will say it or you can ask whether they like it to go harder or not.
As you build-up to the intensity and the speed of the spanking, make sure that you give your partner the right anticipation between every spank.
You should give something to your partner to let them know that the spanking is about to come and doing such will let you increase the intensity and speed.
Experimenting seems like something in the line of a surprise but you just need to make sure that you and your partner agreed to it.
This will give you more opportunities to find what you both like when having sex and spanking. The variations could be on the intensity.
You can hit the spankee with different forces to see which one is the best spank for both of you.
The way your hand and fingers are positioned can also be changed when you want to get into spanking. The wider or closer your fingers are can make a huge difference in pain and pleasure.
Cupping your hands is also one way to vary your slap. This makes a lot more sound and with a different pain that comes with it.
See, a flat-palmed slap gives a more tingling sensation while a cupped palm only has spots for the pain that you are going to feel and not the whole area of the hand.
You see, getting into the mood is just the part where it is like a warmup and the main game is the variation that you try in order to find the best way of slapping that you and your partner like.
7. Do Not Stick To Slapping
Spanking is basically slapping an area of the spankee to turn them on. But Erotic Spanking involves more than the stinging spank that you give or receive.
This pointer is for the spanker where they should be caring and punishing at the same time. It means that you should do something in between spanks.
Do not slap all the way. Try massaging the area before and after you slap or scratch them with the right strength to further arouse the spankee.
Other activities that go well with spanking are tickling, rubbing, and thrusting your finger into some areas that the receiver wants you to put it into.
The fact that all of these combined with spanking can arouse the one being spanked is a very important pointer to avoid boredom with a single spanking action.
8. Get Creative With Tools
Experimenting when spanking really is not only about the hand and the area where someone is slapping. You can use daily objects in the house to perform with.
For example, you can get some rubber bands and flick it on the area where you want to spank your partner for a less intense start.
Get on with a swatter or a flat object to use in spanking and more. Basically, the foreplay should not be only about the sex in general but also the spanking.
The music that you have been using from the start of the activity can be changed so you get to adjust your tempo. You can still use the beat of the music to get you going and control the intensity of each slap.
9. Start With The Butt
The butt is the most common area for spanking during sex. It is an accessible area for spanking all while performing different sex positions.
The butt stores a significant amount of fats so spanking it will absorb the force and prevent hitting bones that might be painful.
It is also close to the genitals making it more arousing when it is stimulated. Slapping the butt will allow more blood flow hence, triggering more erotic arousal.
The butt is also a hidden part. When you accidentally bruised the part that you spanked, then at least the butt can be easily hidden by skirts and/or pants.
10. After Care and “After” After Care
After an intense erotic spanking activity, the spankee might go to a state of subspace. This means that the one who received all the spanking is brought into a state of change.
All the hormones that were stimulated and released during the activity may cause this sudden change and they need some comfort to get them back to their normal state.
The subspace includes symptoms such as unstoppable shaking, or in extreme cases, panic attacks. So you should be there and get ready to give all the support that you can give.
A simple cuddle will do but there is nothing wrong if you go the extra mile. In fact, the spanker also needs it as a form of relaxation and assurance.
The ‘after’ aftercare includes external caring such as treating a bruise on the area where someone has been spanked.
Having bruises can take a toll on some ways. So you need to treat that immediately.
If there are bruises, you should get some ice and apply it right away in the area. Do that for 20 to 30 minutes immediately after the spanking activity.
Continue to do so twice a day for at least 3 days or until it is necessary. The swelling and bruises should go down by the third day.
You can also use gels instead of the ice but the immediate aide for the swelling is the ice therapy. Using gel should be done after the swelling has died down.
How to Spank During Foreplay?
The main feature of spanking during foreplay is the intensity. You should take it slow and take it lightly since it is just the warmup.
As the spanker, you should give just the right amount of spanking and the force that comes with it should be not too forceful and just enough to let the blood flow into the area.
The purpose of spanking during foreplay is to arouse the partner and not to please or hurt her before the main action. Once you do this, you can gradually intensify the spanking.
By starting in the spanking session, you should also take note of the area that you spank for turning your partner on. The butt is always the best part to start.
How To Spank During Sex?
This is the part where you can apply the more intense and speedy spanking that you want. The spanks during sex are a lot better and more painful than that during the foreplay.
You can bring out the experimenting part of spanking during sex where you should try and determine which spank is the best for you and the spankee.
This is also just another step to a more intense kind of spanking where you can get to use tools and sex toys to help you satisfy your partner.
Make sure that you put varieties in your slap and the area that you are slapping. Hitting the same spot may hurt and cause more discomfort rather than pleasure.
If you want the experience to be as erotic as it can be, then you should spank different areas to stimulate other areas.
Areas Of The Body That You Can Spank
As said above, there are different areas where you can spank your partner safely may it be the butt, breast, or the pussy. But there are differences on how to spank on each area.
1. How To Spank On Ass
Spanking the butt is the best sensational spanking area. It is a great area for beginners of both spanker and spankee.
The butt can absorb a lot of force compared to the other areas and so you can practice how you improve the intensity and control of the spanking.
Spanking the butt should also include a specific action of the slapping. The best motion is the upward one where the slap should just graze the butt and the motion goes up.
There are actions where slapping the butt downwards may satisfy them but in general, avoiding your hand to stick on the butt and following the slap can go better.
2. How to Spank On Breasts
The secret to spanking the breasts is to keep it light. The breast is a more sensitive area than the butt so it needs more care than pain.
Slapping the breasts is also like slapping the butt where you go upwards. The force you put in should be just enough to make the boobs jiggle and you should prevent making bruises.
The stress that the breasts accept is low so you should try and avoid that. Hitting the breast on the side should also be controlled.
The main thing to remember when slapping the breast is to keep the spanks softer than that of what you put on the butt.
3. Spanking On Pussy
Spanking the pussy is usually done during foreplay and the spankee should enjoy it. Make sure that when you are spanking the pussy, do not go full force.
It is like tapping the pussy with a flat palm with fingers together. Spanking the pussy requires speed and intensity, not force.
The pussy is a sensitive area so you should spank it lightly. Repeatedly spanking the pussy will be enough to stimulate it even without too much force.
Make sure that you leave time for you to satisfy the pussy in other ways. Spanking it would just be the warmup and finishing in sexual penetration should be the best way to do it.
You can also spank the pussy during sex. The reversed cowgirl is the best position to do this as your hand reaches the pussy while she is riding you.
Spanking is a very fun addition to your sex life and everyone should definitely try doing it. It is also a great way to start with any kinks that you have.
It is basically a beginner’s experience before using more intense BDSM’s and sex toys that come along with it.
Get your partner to talk about the spanking before you try and attempt it out of nowhere so there would not be any awkward moment aside from the part where you talk about it.
Though it is a rather simple activity, there are ways to do it correctly and you should keep them in mind so you can get all the fun and pleasure and ignore the pain.
Having a great partner that you can talk to about this topic should be a huge plus and then you can start by following the guide above and start your journey to the kinky sex experience.
Make sure that you get the best spanking experience by keeping your partner involved and both of you are having fun to create the most erotic and pain plus pleasure combination of your sex lives.
Do share your spanking experiences with us and let us know if we missed out on anything in the comments below!
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